Ups and downs

Last night, after attempting to plan my week, I sort of lost it. See, I have 3 groups of kids, each a different grade level, to plan for. Sixth grade is easiest, since I am using the core language arts curriculum with the intervention materials. I simply choose the most important concepts to focus on, and try to get reading practice in for fluency. They listen to a tape of the story in order to help their comprehension. 7th and 8th grades are not so easy. Along with the scripted curriculum I have to use, I have to choose the writing and grammar activities, as well as their homework assignments. Since I am the resource reading teacher, I have to figure out what I can give them that they won't totally bomb. I get frustrated because I never know for sure if what I choose is appropriate, and if it goes with standards. I'm so afraid my principal is going to come in one day (which he won't unless it's for my scheduled eval) or look at my lesson plans and I'll be in trouble. Now, I know this won't happen, if anything he would have me try to follow what the other 7/8 LA teachers are doing. Still, not knowing where I need to end up makes it really hard to get there. Having to compensate for my English learners (though technically I'm not supposed to give them any breaks) is even more to worry about.

So, last night I sort of start to cry. I instant messaged my dad and asked him to pray extra for me. He would have called me to talk but I told him I'd just start crying on the phone. I was just so stressed. My dad is the best, he always makes me feel better. Plus, in the morning I got an email from him with a passage he memorized long ago that is a source of encouragement (Philippians 4:4-9). I was much more at peace today, and it was nice that I was (and felt) slightly more prepared than in the past. My friend who teaches in Toronto said that it takes a few years to really get used to teaching language arts, and that she had to learn that herself.

I miss my friends back in CA who I could talk to, but at least I still have them to call or instant message.