ringsandcoffee: (P&P Darcy going to Lizzie)
Bi-monthly P&P viewing: check. (Mr. Darcy is still love)

Rewatch parts of Emma on YouTube: check. (easier than putting the dvd in)

Job irritation: check.

New career idea: still drawing a blank.

Worrying about friends: check.

Night spent relaxing instead of grading: check.

Restless mind: check.
ringsandcoffee: (easily distracted)
I thought of it earlier, then got distracted as often happens. Boss wasn't there the past 2 days, and so I sort of relaxed. Today I didn't do whole-group reading. Instead, more time was given to writing and grammar. Trying to figure out how to teach 2 very different math skills to different groups is still a challenge, but I suppose it will get better. I'm still pulled in 29 directions, it seems. However, the folders we set up yesterday for what to do when they're done are really helping. Also, we rearranged the room, and now I can move around more easily. So many teachers are so overwhelmed and going into survival mode. I'm trying to be as effective as possible given my circumstances. I still don't have math books. I know, long story, don't even get me started on that.

Enough school talk.

My friend Jill is going to be a grandmother soon! She's flying to MD tomorrow and is just thrilled. Found out a teacher I know is in the hospital with an infection related to her past hip surgery, so praying for her. My friend Allyson set up a Myspace music page. Was falling asleep at the keyboard so I put in Sense and Sensibility 2007. Got through barely half of it. Decided to go to bed at 930, but remembered I needed to post. So, I have and now I will go to bed.

I dread tomorrow and the marathon grading day it will be. I'll have to plant myself at a coffee shop to get as much done as I can.
ringsandcoffee: (LOST Desmond aaaahhhhhhhhhh)
If I had ANY other job options right now, even scrubbing toilets, I'd take one in a heartbeat. 12 hour day at work, and I still am not done. I crave the days I give tests because it means I get a break from teaching. However, I can't sit and get work done because I have to answer questions, etc, plus I have to grade the tests. Oh, new math series, yay, right? No, not yay. Still don't have student books. The premade tests are all word problems. Ok, since when did math become another branch of reading comprehension? If the objective I teach is to subtract large numbers, don't give me a test full of word problems where they have to figure out what to do, and then hope they don't screw up the subtraction.

WHY IS ROUNDING NUMBERS SO HARD?? Across the board I hear that kids just don't get this!

I want a job I can leave at work at the end of the day. Even if they are long days, I'd love to be able to say I'm done, but that never happens. Next lessons to plan, materials to figure out, and now, tests to create since the ones I've been given are crap.

I need dinner.
ringsandcoffee: (Mini-me)
I let some friends know about my dad via email. Just so they wouldn't be shocked when it eventually comes up in conversation. Luis and Vonn came over. Jen invited me over, but she came over here instead and then all 5 of us (Dylan included) went to Coldstone. Have I mentioned my friends are awesome?

I was doing laundry, cleaning and packing (one tote bag for 6 days, amazing for me) and just keep wondering when or if it will hit me. I also continue to feel guilty about missing the first week of work. I still don't know what day the funeral is, but I might as well just be gone all week and start fresh the next week. I'll do my best to catch up but dang, I still feel bad for not being there this week.

Work issues bother me more than missing my dad. Maybe when I get there tomorrow it will hit me, something may. Some relatives have mentioned it on Facebook and so it feels a little more real.

Aside from stressing about missing work, I am ok. Tired, but ok. Stress is making me tired.
ringsandcoffee: (N&S annoyed)
I need an attitude adjustment. It's not fair for me to expect my students to be happy and control their moods when I do a crappy job at this myself. Even if they are the reason for my crappy mood, which they sometimes are, I can't use that as fuel for the fire.

Tomorrow is not really planned out yet. Hopefully I can take care of that in the morning. For a few minutes today, I thought about taking away the Valentine's Day party on Friday. However, that would be really mean of me, unless they really act up the next few days.

When, if ever, is it ok to give up on a kid (and that's only semi-rhetorical)? One who misses so much school that he can't even catch up when he's there, and won't do anything that requires thinking for himself.

I really need a dose of Jane Austen or N&S.
ringsandcoffee: (nervous Sebastian)
Which is what Jill says, and I've adopted her saying. It is what it is, and it's not what it should be, nor what it could be. I don't even know what it's supposed to be, but I just know this isn't it. I'm not content with that.
ringsandcoffee: (JE school mistress)
Perpetually behind.
Working on time management and not procrastinating.
Taking work one day at a time.

Just trying to hold onto my sanity, and know that it will be ok, even when I feel like everything is going wrong.

Despite what might come across, I'm actually calm at the moment, just busy.
ringsandcoffee: (i am a wreck)
Brownies baked, cut, and in containers.
Tzatziki made, which included straining the yogurt and cucumbers, and in containers. (tastes pretty good IMO, but I don't know good tzatziki from bad)
Cooking dishes cleaned and put away.
Food processor parts drying.
Cold-brew coffee is still cold brewing, to be strained around 9 p.m.
Math planned for week.
Writing planned for week.
Reading curriculum map almost finished through end of the quarter.
Standards reviewed about 8 times.
Reading group time planned for week.

Reading centers, which take up half my reading block, I'm still clueless on.

I find the lesson plans to be rather boring, so what will the kids think?

I'm no longer in the chipper mood I was earlier. Off to do more work.
ringsandcoffee: (P&P oh crap)
I totally panicked for a bit. I thought I was possibly out of a job. Crap, I never want to feel like that again.

I think I still hate my district though.
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
Today was one of those days where I left work right after tutoring, wondering (yet again) if I'm really cut out for this. Usually, right after I wonder such things, I remember I have NO CLUE what I'd do for a job otherwise. Still, some things just aren't right, and I can't fix them, and I'm not even talking about the things that are out of my control. (tomorrow's vote at the board meeting I won't even touch...)

Then, I stopped at Borders, bought Emma on dvd, the book Atonement, and a coffee. Came home, watched movie, and felt better.

Tomorrow is jeans day!
ringsandcoffee: (the One Ring)
You know how history classes were basically event X happened, factors Q, R and S led up to said events, and then the results were such and such. After something particularly bad occurs, people say oh, it kind of started with this, and then these factors made it worse, but we didn't really realize it was getting worse. Maybe we should have, maybe a few people did notice, but it's all too late now. Let's just clean up the mess and try to not do it again.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, my district's current situation reminds me of a history class. On the one hand, I seem to have this inability to believe people were, intentionally or not, making poor decisions that led to the crisis. I should note that a measure that didn't pass last November is also part of the problem, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. On the other hand, I wonder how long have the powers that be (PTB) been letting things go downhill. A ton of finger-pointing and rumor-spreading is going on. You don't know who to believe, who's good, who's bad, who's looking out for (or trying to screw over) who. Or, as one teacher put so well, the plan looked so good on paper to the PTB and they didn't see all the ramifications that we are facing now. Most plans look better on paper, and most don't go as they should.

We got some answers today, and some encouragement that not all is as bad as we thought. Still, I don't know where I'm going to be next year, or what grade I'll get. We're led to believe we all have a job, but now my fear is that since I'm low in seniority, I'll end up with a grade I don't want. No, I should clarify: there are grades I don't want, and there are grades I'd be doing a disservice to the kids if I had to teach them. Through all this, I can only wait and see.


Jan. 23rd, 2008 07:38 pm
ringsandcoffee: (AA angst)
I hate not knowing. I hate watching the situation get ever crappier, while the higher ups selectively share information with us. I feel like I'm in total denial, else I'd be completely freaking out. As it is, I just sit, and wait, and attempt to keep teaching.
ringsandcoffee: (Mulder cry)
The next week, if not two, is going to be bad. Horribly busy, not enough time to catch up, pervasive negative/desperate attitude, and to top things off, I'm getting a cold. Oh yeah, my 30th birthday is next Saturday. Whether I'll be able to celebrate it is becoming uncertain.
ringsandcoffee: (JE conversation)
-I still love Jane Eyre, both book and movie.
-I had fun at the waterslides today with the 8th graders. Evened out my tan a bit, too.
-I dread calculating final grades tomorrow. It makes me feel so incompetent, which I should not feel.
-Forgot what else I might have said here.
ringsandcoffee: (AA angst)
This is my to do list for the day:
1. Schedule for the week (1/2)
2. /Write any needed lesson plans
3. Finish grading essays
4. Put away laundry/iron/make sure I have enough to wear this week
5. Possibly make new seating charts
6. Drink copious amounts of coffee. Oh, crap, I need to go buy some decaf.

I found my favorite flavor of non-dairy creamer in powder form. Yay toffee nut! I think I should get another container of it for school. I would prefer the liquid kind, but this is better than nothing.

If I go to the store, or Starbucks (to get decaf coffee), I'm never going to get any work done. Argh. Oh well. I'm going anyway. If I'm going to stress, might as well stress while drinking coffee.

Did I mention I have to go back to work tomorrow?

Edit: Ok, it's sad how little I got done.
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
Pray, don't panic. Repeat.

It will be ok, I will survive, I will get my work done.

(Hugs, virtual chocolate, and/or encouraging verses will be appreciated)
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
I just...I have no words. I'm trying to think of what to say, how to say how I feel right now, but I can't. I am drained. I am behind. More work keeps piling on. Even the school counselor can't believe how the kids are acting. Half the class couldn't be bothered to write 3 sentences, one of which they had to copy off the board! I need to plan what I'm teaching tomorrow, and I just can't do it. My brain won't work.
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
It was probably a bad idea to recommend Pride and Prejudice to a guy. He bought it too, instead of just renting it. So, he IMs me about 3/4 of the way through to tell me he's watching it. I told him to talk to me when he finished it. His reaction? "It was...interesting." He totally focused on different things than I did. He was overwhelmed by the squealing sisters when all 5 were together. He didn't think Darcy and Lizzie should/would have ended up together. Mentioned something about needing a magic wand in order for it to be possible. Ok, I kind of missed a bunch of details with my first viewing, so I'll give him that. Still...I should have known he wouldn't get it. Not that I don't plan to explain everything to him, and possibly make him watch it again :) Maybe I'm just disappointed because right away I felt like woah, major P&P love!

I do give him credit for watching such a chick flick. At least he likes Phantom of the Opera.

In other news, I'm getting myself worked-up over work stress again. Behavior is a little better this week, and my newest strategies are to stress courtesy to them, which involves killing them with kindness myself. Ok, I'm trying, I'm trying. Still, curriculum worries are getting to me.
ringsandcoffee: (AA angst)
After working all day, I'm going to make sure I'm set for tomorrow and then call it quits. I wish I liked Sundays more, but all I do is work. I worked all day yesterday too. If Friday had not been a holiday I would be losing my freaking mind right now. I'm slightly stressed over midterm grades going out Wednesday. I'm slightly stressed believing that my kids are going to completely reject the project we start this week. I'm stressed (yet again) thinking I'm not teaching them enough. Argh. Need to just relax and read a book.
ringsandcoffee: (mulder cry)
I don't know how to do it. I spend 10-11 hours a day at school (commute included) and bring home at least 2 hours worth of work each night. I only do about an hour of it though, because my brain starts to shut down. I'm perpetually behind, and it's only going to get worse. I can't keep up with grading, so I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want to grade. I collect everything, because if I don't, the kids will either not do the work or will do a crappy job. Some things I just mark as done or not, but that's still 90 papers to mark in my gradebook. I need to enter grades onto Excel also. If I could get a laptop to use at school, I could enter grades there and have a jump drive to keep the info at home as well. I know there's a laptop that't not being used, but I don't know if they will part with one from the (somewhat useless) mobile lab.

I turned off Strictly Ballroom that I just bought on dvd after 10 minutes because I need to get grading done so I have tomorrow to work on lesson plans. This sucks, as I usually take all of Saturday off from school work. Part of my problem is being new to the curriculum, as well as to having this many students. It's just...how do the teachers with families do it? How do they keep up with the work and actually have a life at home? Once again, I really wish I had another language arts teacher to plan with. I feel like I'm going at this totally blindly. All this work to try and raise some stupid test scores, and now the principal is adding to the workload. He has good intentions, but I feel like it's another way of saying I'm not doing things right.
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