-Shiny cookware is shiny! All 13 pieces are washed and dried. Now, to use it.
-When I want a Seattle's Best coffee ice cream shake, I should just get one. My 2 attempts at a substitute just didn't cut it.
-Why do I eat fast food like it's nothing, the read the ingredients on all the different ice creams to find the least scary brand? Shocker of the day: the generic Wal-Mart brand was the most natural, pretty much the same as Breyers, and it tastes way better.
-I have huge recycling piles and Goodwill piles. I hate carrying all that stuff out to the bins and my car.
-Why am I so enamored with cheap plastic storage bins?
-I'm weird about certain things (see above for examples) but I've decided that everyone is weird in their own ways.
-Cold and rain, I really do like you. You'll be fondly rememebered come July. Keep in mind that cold here = the 40s. Ha ha ha.
-Staying up the next three Sundays to watch Emma on Masterpiece Theater isn't really feasible; Luckily, I can watch it online! Or just wait for the dvd on 2/9.
-Teaching parts of speech all year long, and I still get asked what verbs, nouns and adjectives are.
Examples of things students do that make no sense (happens multiple times daily)
Me: Take out your reading books and read any story you want for a few minutes (or do XYZ).
Student: Can we read any story we want (or do we do XYZ)?
Me: Did you *really* just ask me that?
On the way back from lunch
Student: May I go to the bathroom?
Me: Yes, when we pass by.
Student: (as we pass the bathrooms) Can I go now?
Math question: Which shows the fraction in order from greatest to least?
Student: Oh, I thought it said least to greatest!
Me: But it says greatest to least.
Student: Yeah, but I thought it said least to greatest.
Me: That's like you saying "My name is Bob" and I reply "Oh, I thought you said your name was George!"
Me: *gives directions*
Student(s): *doesn't listen to directions*
Student(s): (2 seconds later) What do we do?
During reading centers, at which time I work with one of the 4 groups.
Student: *walks over to me from group across the room, holding paper* What am I supposed to do?
Me: Did you read the directions?
Me: Read them.
Student: *reads* Ohhhhh! Ok I know what to do!
Me: You couldn't have read them to begin with, or, you know, asked someone IN YOUR GROUP?