dreaming

Feb. 12th, 2011 02:38 pm
ringsandcoffee: (astounding)
I work close enough to the airport to be able to watch planes take off and land while on yard duty. Not actually lift off and touch down, as some buildings are in the way, but pretty close. So, I dreamed the other day of taking my measly $1300 savings and randomly picking a city to fly to. Indianapolis crossed my mind. We actually had a layover there when I was 12, but I didn't make it outside of the airport. I don't even know what there is to see in Indy. I spent about that much on my trip to Chicago last summer, and that didn't include a hotel. Needing a hotel for a trip of this sort would cut it quite short.

In my attempt to whittle down the pile of unread books and magazines next to my bed, I read an issue of Conde Nast Traveler last night. Not but a few pages in they featured a pair of earrings, made my local craftspeople or something, that cost $1250. Yes, that much. Here I thought I could go somewhere on $1300, and then I see earrings that swallow the entire budget. People HAVE that kind of money? The rest of the magazine featured several luxury resorts and hotels. Places I can only dream of staying in, some that require small planes or chartered boats to get to. Some of the features astounded me, such as a private plunge pool for each of 49 bures (I think that was the word) at one place, or a 6-to-1 staff to guest ratio at another. Some were on small chunks of islands in the middle of the Pacific. How in the world does one run a resort on a tiny island that serves gourmet meals made with organic ingredients that change daily? Meal planning and grocery shopping for myself is chore enough, and I just have to hop in the car to get what I need. Where do they find people to staff these resorts, especially people who don't mind providing all the luxuries described?

How do I get hired at one of these places?

Random association time: Hearing the song Crazy Love by Hawk Nelson reminds me of Luis, since I first heard it on my way to see him in the hospital. The book by Francis Chan, which inspired the song, is also in my pile of stuff to read. I actually started it, but went back to Our Mutual Friend after a few chapters. I think I'm finally over my OMF obsession.
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
Luis is being transfered back somewhere in Phoenix. I don't know where yet. I'm happy, because I can see him more often, even if he isn't aware of me.
ringsandcoffee: (coffee)
I miss when you worked a stones-throw away from my school.
I miss being able to call you to have dinner, even though we didn't go THAT often.
I miss you calling me between work and kung fu, when I would harass you for taking 3 showers a day and you would make Chloe and Spencer "talk" to me.
I miss you calling when you'd drive back from Tucson, even though I didn't always answer.
I miss singing along to whatever songs we liked with you.
I wish we could go to Chicago again.
I miss being woken up on Saturday mornings with repeated IM chimes, buzzes, and characters that spoke Tagalog. The latter usually drove me out of bed.
I miss the Quest meetings where I often almost forgot I was the teacher and wanted to smack you for being silly and, well, you.
I miss when I'd hurt my own hand trying to punch you in the arm.
I miss laughing at you as you practiced tai chi.
I miss you constantly "misunderstanding" something I said and always thinking I said something dirty.
I miss weekends at the shop.
I miss taking pictures.
I miss sharing my culinary goods with you.
Remember my first attempt at hummus, when I forgot to add the tahini? You still ate it.
I miss being able to reminisce about kitty litter lattes, since no one else gets it.
I miss your voice.
I miss your silly faces.
I love the fact I finally got to cut off your hair.
I'm amazed at how small you look lying in that hospital bed.
I wonder if you will ever wake up.
I wonder if you will be happy when you do.
I hope you know that many, many people truly love you and miss you.
~~~~~~~~~

You just never know what you will feel until you go through something. I've known others who have grieved a loss, but never really understood it until this happened. Even when I lost my dad, I didn't take it nearly as hard. I understand misplacing feelings, and wanting to seek comfort in inapproprite places. I get how grief can be mistaken for other feelings, or how it can make you wish for something you really shouldn't have. Or something that doesn't exist.

Really, I am ok. He is still here, but we don't know if he'll ever be aware. I think about him often, but I am not too sad. Just miss him. Sad that he was hurting so much. I've started wearing the bracelet I bought in Nogales. It wasn't like he was my best, closest friend ever, but he was my good friend.

Luis

Nov. 6th, 2010 08:33 pm
ringsandcoffee: (bouncing elephant)
Vonn and I went to see Luis today. He looks much better than before. Vonn says his coloring is better, and his mouth isn't all irritated now that he's off the respirator. They shaved off his goatee so now he looks like a 20-something year-old kid. The doctors seem more hopeful, but it's still a long time and a long road before we know how much he will recover. He responds with movements and/or opening his eyes a little when you get in his face and talk to him. We don't know how aware he is, or if he recognizes people, but it's still nice to get some sort of response. I played our song on my ipod, one earbud for each of us. It was more for me than for him, but I still thought he'd like it.

:D

He's stubborn, always has been. He's still here with us for some reason, and we all think he's got a strong will to live. I'll visit him when I can, which may be every few weeks or so. Tucson is 2 hours away.
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
Often when I go shopping, I get annoyed by the people around me. Today was noticibly different. Listening to (and sometimes watching) the interactions of families at Target made me smile. Even when kids were a little whiny, the way parents handled it was great.

Bought Our Mutual Friend on dvd, since [livejournal.com profile] holbytla loves it so. I sure hope it's better than the book. Don't know when I'll watch it, but at least I can when I want to. I also bought Voyage of the Dawn Treader since I let someone borrow my copy of Chronicles of Narnia. I thought I'd gotten it back, but I guess not. Last I'd heard, production of the movies had stopped, so imagine my surprise hearing a commercial for it on the radio last week. Anyway, I have about a month to read it before it comes out. Then I got into a conversation about Captain America, Iron Man, and Sherlock after I grabbed this week's EW magazine. Cap is on the cover, and there's a mention of The Hobbit as well. Are you proud of me, [livejournal.com profile] ewanspotter?

(Normally, I hate using html tags for italics, but I also hate rich text. Can't believe how many I used in the last paragraph. I am so weird.)

This past weekend was Sheltri's wedding up in CA. Pictures eventually. :) It was a blast, very relaxed and casual.

Aaaaaaand finally, I'm going to see Luis this weekend. He's still holding on, but has been breathing on his own for a week or so now. Still don't know what the long-term prognosis is, but is uncle, a doctor, seemed to think the situation had improved. It's been 2 weeks since I saw him. I'm doing much better emotionally. I get more excited for the weekend the more I think about it.
ringsandcoffee: (Default)
His mom just called me 10 minutes ago. Luis is going to Tucson. She asked me to keep on praying, and I will.
ringsandcoffee: (S&S Brandon watching)
I didn't go today, I couldn't bring myself to. What will tomorrow be like at work?

I hope I don't cry, my mascara isn't waterproof.

ETA: I hope y'all will see me through this dark period, and know that happy posts will return eventually.
ringsandcoffee: (S&S head in hand)
My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word. Psalm 119:28

But they that hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall take wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
ringsandcoffee: (sigh Flounder)
-Eyes a little more open today
-Some eye movement noticed
-Off sedation, I htink
-Has a sinus infection I was told; his nose was running.
-Staff requested fewer visitors, but his family still let me in right away.
-May not make it over tomorrow, since I have been neglecting work the past 3 days.
-Feeling hopeful, but still preparing for what may come.
-Family may be getting some tough news right about now about what happened.
-Trying to also be there for Vonn.

You never know how a situation like this affects a person until that person is you. It's all I can think about all day. Not knowing how he's doing sucks. I don't even fully trust what seems to be the progress made today. Yet, I just feel in my heart he will come out of it. I don't even want to research what happens in cases like his as far as brain damage and/or lasting effects.
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